Meeting My Partner's Family for the First Time
And the beginning (or as some of my friends know, the return) of the vlog era.
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Pssst — There’s a surprise video at the end of this letter! 🎉
Last week Mijael and I traveled to the north of Mexico to meet his family for Thanksgiving. As we drove to and from different sights — sand dunes, Mijael’s mom’s house, the El Paso Tin Mines, a strip mall, and Ciudad Juarez’s famous bar that invented the margarita — empty horizons of unfiltered light fell upon a clear spine of mountains. The contrast of the bright Chihuahuan air to the livid skies of Mexico City mirrored what I would feel the entire trip: a sense of calm. I felt present, and content, being exactly where I was. Everything was new.
It was the first time I met Mijael’s family, including his brother Daniel, his sister-in-law Ana, his nephew Mihalj, and his mom Silvia. It was the first time I spent a holiday with another family. And it was the first time I was introduced to the extended world of someone I have started to share my life with. Meeting the people who have known the person I love for as long as he’s been alive was something I never considered the joy of, but joy is all I felt.
We spent a day in Ciudad Juarez before crossing the border to El Paso. We slept under a warm roof, shared mornings that stretched to the last drops of coffee in our cups, and embarked on explorations into the soil and concrete landscapes around both cities. The simple acts of waking up together, chatting along the wide neck of the 375 Loop, and picking up takeout for dinner rekindled a content that resembled a shape of happiness I understood, and cherished, at an earlier age, one that did not bend to anticipations of the future or ideas of success.
When we boil down the thoughts, plans, and dreams that swirl around our adult minds, we get a more honest form of what inspires us to be alive. For me, it is the warmth of belonging to each other. Learning about Daniel, Ana, Mihalj, and Silvia felt like learning about myself again; it made me excited to continue getting to know them, to continue getting to know all of us, for at whatever capacity life allows us to share with each other — our time, our thoughts, and our knowledge — I want to be present and ready to do so, for that, in my opinion, is living.
As some of my closest friends know, I used to create a lot of videos when I was younger. I was obsessed with capturing memories as they were being made. I felt that if I could string together our lives into something beautiful, it’d last beyond us, as if art had the power to break open the constructs we live by — most of all, time.
This is the first video I’ve created in over four years. It was a goal of mine this year to start creating with visual media again, because the feeling I get from stringing together moments from a camera is distinct to the feeling I get from writing. Writing, for me, feels like noticing life occur from the window of a subway car or a bench in the park. Creating a video feels more like running towards a memory on the beach, attempting to catch it with my hands. Both make a little flame inside of me burn strong and bright, which is why I’m excited to continue doing both. Hence, the beginning of the vlog era:
An Experimental Capy Corner: My Favorite Moments of the Week 🙂
Getting to be one of the first clients of Mihalj’s “Weezer Station” (Mijael’s nephew) — a gaming experience designed for visitors to his house. In one of the rooms in Daniel’s house (Mijael’s brother), Mihalj setup a gaming station where he greeted visitors with a pair of headphones (playing Weezer songs), a menu of games to play, a selection of snacks (candy, chips, gummies, etc.), and a bell to ring if they needed any assistance!
Visiting SOHO House Mexico City for a mezcal tasting dinner with Mezcal Amaras. I got to share the experience with three of my friends here in CDMX, and everything was complimentary :) — three tastings of mezcal, an open bar for mezcal cocktails, and a full menu from the House restaurant (hamachi krudo, shrimp, beef tartare, short rib, chicken, bread, chocolate tart, cheesecake, and more!).
Getting a new couch for my apartment from Manzeli Studio in Mexico City. I bit the bullet and purchased a big, olive green couch for our second room! The second room will be set up for movies, games, and more. I had a small panic attack after the purchase because I’m still not used to spending on furniture, but after five hours of rearranging the things in our house and being a ball of manic overwhelm, I resettled into presence and now feel really happy with the purchase.
Joining the Foster authoring circle. Foster hosts a series of authoring groups/writing circles for writers around the world. I’ve been in search of a stronger sense of community around literature and writing for a while now, since the scene in Mexico City is focused on Mexican and Spanish literature (and my Spanish is still bad — but slowly improving!). I applied a couple of weeks ago, had a wonderful chat with one of the members, and was added to the group. I’m excited to start writing with other folks around the globe!
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With love,
Your favorite capybara ~ AKA Travis Zane
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